Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #29 -Thirteen Movie Disasters

I haven’t been around for Thursday Thirteen in a month of Sundays (literally). Notice that the title of this TT is "Thirteen Movie Disasters" and not "Thirteen Disaster Movies", big difference! This week I shed light on thirteen of Hollywood’s potboiler (disastrous) films. Certainly there are more than thirteen, but alas I can only list the magic number (13). I will save you the agony of sitting through a clip of any of these films. You might rather sit around and watch paint dry :-P


13. Battlefield Earth (2000) – John Travolta’s two decade long quest to put L. Ron Hubbard’s work on film bombed in a big way. It won seven Razzies, a feat only accomplished by another famous box office bomb “Showgirls” (I am not even going to pick on Showgirls). Budget 73 Million, U.S. Box Office 21 Million.

12. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002) – Eddie Murphy really needs to quit! Sometimes he is pure genius, while other times he really needs to chill, have a seat and think about what he is doing. This was one of those times. Budget 100 Million, U.S. Box Office 4.4 Million.

11. Heaven’s Gate (1980) – Mix cattle rustlers, rich WASP ranch owners and roller skating and you have a recipe for disaster. This film destroyed the career of director Mike Cimino and shut down the United Artist Studio. Budget 40 Million, Box Office 3.5 Million.

10. Town & Country (2001) – Not even Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, and Goldie Hawn could save this fiasco. Budget 90 Million, U.S. Box Office 6.7 Million.

9. Cleopatra (1963) – While not quite as bad as others film on this list as far as budget goes, it none-the-less lost plenty of moolah. Budget 44 Million, Box Office 26 Million.

8. Hudson Hawk (1991) – Oh Bruce, this surely is no “Die Hard”. Rumor has it that a special effects firm had to go through the film and airbrush his bald spot. Talk about sensitive! A hat would have been a hell of a lot cheaper. Budget 65 Million, U.S. Box Office 17 Million.

7. Cutthroat Island (1995) – Director Renny Harlin convinced Carolco Pictures that his then wife Geena Davis could carry this action film. She couldn’t. The film shut down Carolco Studio and derariled Ms. Davis’s career. Budget 98 Million, U.S. Box Office 19 Million.

6. Ishtar (1987) – In spite of good reviews by the New York Times, this film about two lounge singers caught up in the cold war flopped. Budget 55 Million, U.S. Box Office 14 Million.

5. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988) – This film flopped at the box office, but picked up steam on video and DVD. Budget 47 Million, Box Office 8 Million.

4. Howard the Duck (1986) – It is hard to believe that George Lucas was affiliated with this foolishness. A cigar smoking duck from Cleveland…As my uncle would say “Like Wow!” Budget 38 Million, U.S. Box Office 16 Million.

3. The Postman (1997) – Believe it or not Kevin Costner’s Waterworld actually made money, but Dirt World (as the crew so lovingly called this one, did not. Budget 80 Million, U.S. Box Office 17.6 Million.

2. ZYZZYZX Road (2005) – This road really exists. It is an exit in California close to the Nevada border. I have passed it numerous times on my way to Lost Wages, Nevada. A lot of indie films don’t make money, but this box office payoff was less than the price of filling up my Toyota Matrix! Budget 2 Million, Box Office 30.00 (Yep! That’s Right! 30 freakin dollars).

1. Dave (2008) – Eddie Murphy strikes again. This is the #1 potboiler of the summer with a Budget 60 Million and a U.S. Box Office of 11.6 Million.



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24 comments:

The Rock Chick said...

I haven't seen any of these movies and none are on my list to see. If they were, I'd cross them off on your opinion alone :)

anthonynorth said...

A couple of surprises on your list, but some of them were, indeed, terrible.

SandyCarlson said...

The duck movie struck a chord. The others I knew to be terrible. How long until they are cult classics?

Hootin' Anni said...

I've only watched one...The Postman...and I must say, it was DUMB, DUMBER and DUMBEST in my opinion.

My T-13 is posted. Last one over to visit me is a rotten egg! :o)

On a limb with Claudia said...

Welcome back! :) I have to disagree with ... .wait... which one was it... ;) Amazing how many movies Eddie Murphy has bombed!

Nicholas said...

Is that poster for the 1988 version of Munchausen? I thought it starred John Neville, directed by Python Gilliam.

I saw Town and Country and was not much impressed, but I don't see how it could have cost that much. It was mainly set indoors, with no special effects or crowd scenes. I suppose most of the cost consisted of overinflated salaries for the stars.

Cleopatra was a great film. I know it lost money, but it was a good one!

Malcolm said...

Hudson Hawk was one of my exes' favorite movies. I watched it with her and was surprised that I actually liked it.

I had forgotten about the $30 bomb that made #2 on your list. The next time that Katherine Heigl starts popping off to the producers of "Grey's Anatomy", they should show her a poster of "ZYZZYZX Road".

Lori said...

I havent seen most of your list...I agree with all the ones Ive seen except The Postman. I liked it:) Happy TT.

pussreboots said...

I actually like some of them on your list. Tee hee. Happy TT.

Angie said...

I haven't seen any of them, but I really enjoyed reading through your list! Great TT!

X. Dell said...

Hmm. Warren and Eddie got in on two each. Seems like it's time for them to make a picture together.

Insights from the Grocery Cart said...

I actually watched Howard the Duck! LOL

Mysti Holiday said...

I saw "Ishtar" and "The Postman" at the theater. And, they deserved to flop. Haven't seen the others... some I haven't even HEARD of. LOL on the one that earned $30.

Happy TT!

Carol said...

I guess there's good reason for my never having seen a single one of these.

Fun T-13! Mine's up, too!

Elaine @ Commotion said...

I'd have to agree with all but a couple of them. We really like "Cleopatra".

Happy TT!! Mine is posted and I did 13 Most Beautiful Classic Movie actresses!!

Kristi said...

remember we walked out of the theater about a half hour into Howard the Duck. That's the only one on the list I had seen (sort of)

PopArtDiva said...

OMG - it is movie week, Malcom did Legal Movies, I did 13 Legendary Film Stars that Never won Best Actor and you're doing movie bombs!!!

It's so funny, I just recorded Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor. I'd never seen it! Probably because it was 4 hours long and at 12 I would never have made it through without causing a ruckus in the theater and embarassing my folks, lol.

Anyhoo - holy cow, what a historical piece of crap that was AND the costumes??? Take early sixties fashion and hairstyles and try to make them look Egyptian - since when did the Egyptians have gold lame???

I was laughing near the end and then I was getting ticked off. Burton's portrayal of Marc Antony turned this historical figure into an alcoholic poor-me schlub. Okay, it's said Antony did have a fondness for wine, women and song and his fondness for Cleopatra was so hormonal, but schlubs with a poor me attitude did not make it to the rank of General in Ancient Rome, let alone to co-ruling the Second Triumvirate. Okay, I've vented about the LaLaLand Cleopatra.

I think Postman failed largly due to Kevin Costner's rapidly receding hair line - though being a bad film didn't help, lol.

Now, when you mention "Dave" - be carefu - LOL, "Meet Dave" with Eddie was a dud but "Dave" with Kevin Klein is one of my favorite films to watch over and over and over!!!

I think you should add Solaris - costs: $47,000,000 gross: $14,970,038 -even George Clooney couldn't save that one!

Happy TT to you Ms. Pjazzypar - and sending you some ointment to sooth your bruises from the great blog bully!

Lori said...

Oh my goodness, I remember seeing Howard the Duck as a teenager. And even then thinking it was bad. lol.

The one that only made $30 cracks me up. I'm sure those involved weren't laughing, but $30??? That's so bad, it's funny.

Chris said...

I saw Battlefield Earth and was so disappointed, I loved that book and was really anticipating the movie. Of the others I've only seen Baron von Munchausen which I hated and the Postman which I hated, though again I loved the book. Happy TT

Mama Pajama said...

Hehehe. Hudson Hawk....My husband loves this movie - we just saw half of it this past weekend....he was going around singing that catchy, "swingin' on a star" song the rest of the day. It just might be the dumbest movie ever... :)

Howard the Duck always gave me the creeps when I was a kid. I seem to have seen that one several times...

Fun list!

Kim said...

Grease 2!! You forgot Grease2! That was good god awful and I loved every minute of it when I was 14 (those raging teenage hormones! And really, you were being kind to Eddie Murphy, he deserved several more places on your list. Daddy Day Care, Norbit, Haunted Mansion, I could go on...

Tink said...

From this list I've only seen Cutthroat Island (on TV). Great list!
Thanks for visiting my 40th birthday TT.

Candy Minx said...

I love this topic...it's one that is very close to my heart. You gave m some great things to think about. I unofficially study box office bombs...

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