Thursday Thirteen #29 -Thirteen Movie Disasters

I haven’t been around for Thursday Thirteen in a month of Sundays (literally). Notice that the title of this TT is "Thirteen Movie Disasters" and not "Thirteen Disaster Movies", big difference! This week I shed light on thirteen of Hollywood’s potboiler (disastrous) films. Certainly there are more than thirteen, but alas I can only list the magic number (13). I will save you the agony of sitting through a clip of any of these films. You might rather sit around and watch paint dry :-P

13. Battlefield Earth (2000) – John Travolta’s two decade long quest to put L. Ron Hubbard’s work on film bombed in a big way. It won seven Razzies, a feat only accomplished by another famous box office bomb “Showgirls” (I am not even going to pick on Showgirls). Budget 73 Million, U.S. Box Office 21 Million.

12. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002) – Eddie Murphy really needs to quit! Sometimes he is pure genius, while other times he really needs to chill, have a seat and think about what he is doing. This was one of those times. Budget 100 Million, U.S. Box Office 4.4 Million.

11. Heaven’s Gate (1980) – Mix cattle rustlers, rich WASP ranch owners and roller skating and you have a recipe for disaster. This film destroyed the career of director Mike Cimino and shut down the United Artist Studio. Budget 40 Million, Box Office 3.5 Million.

10. Town & Country (2001) – Not even Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, and Goldie Hawn could save this fiasco. Budget 90 Million, U.S. Box Office 6.7 Million.

9. Cleopatra (1963) – While not quite as bad as others film on this list as far as budget goes, it none-the-less lost plenty of moolah. Budget 44 Million, Box Office 26 Million.

8. Hudson Hawk (1991) – Oh Bruce, this surely is no “Die Hard”. Rumor has it that a special effects firm had to go through the film and airbrush his bald spot. Talk about sensitive! A hat would have been a hell of a lot cheaper. Budget 65 Million, U.S. Box Office 17 Million.

7. Cutthroat Island (1995) – Director Renny Harlin convinced Carolco Pictures that his then wife Geena Davis could carry this action film. She couldn’t. The film shut down Carolco Studio and derariled Ms. Davis’s career. Budget 98 Million, U.S. Box Office 19 Million.

6. Ishtar (1987) – In spite of good reviews by the New York Times, this film about two lounge singers caught up in the cold war flopped. Budget 55 Million, U.S. Box Office 14 Million.

5. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988) – This film flopped at the box office, but picked up steam on video and DVD. Budget 47 Million, Box Office 8 Million.

4. Howard the Duck (1986) – It is hard to believe that George Lucas was affiliated with this foolishness. A cigar smoking duck from Cleveland…As my uncle would say “Like Wow!” Budget 38 Million, U.S. Box Office 16 Million.

3. The Postman (1997) – Believe it or not Kevin Costner’s Waterworld actually made money, but Dirt World (as the crew so lovingly called this one, did not. Budget 80 Million, U.S. Box Office 17.6 Million.

2. ZYZZYZX Road (2005) – This road really exists. It is an exit in California close to the Nevada border. I have passed it numerous times on my way to Lost Wages, Nevada. A lot of indie films don’t make money, but this box office payoff was less than the price of filling up my Toyota Matrix! Budget 2 Million, Box Office 30.00 (Yep! That’s Right! 30 freakin dollars).

1. Dave (2008) – Eddie Murphy strikes again. This is the #1 potboiler of the summer with a Budget 60 Million and a U.S. Box Office of 11.6 Million.

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